I understand your conflict! There i no one truth. I do think also your son is speaking with his behaviors, but that is just my understanding of this. And my understanding is not better or wiser than yours. I know medication helps some people. It slows them down and make it possible for them to be with the rest of us.

I am happy both him and you are getting some rest. I can't know what it is to live in your, or your sons situation. But what I do know is that many people with trauma get stuck in a psychiatric system that cannot help them, and that is making them "sicker", not better. And I do wonder if your son would also benefit from another kind of psychiatric care and environment? Where he would thrive on his conditions.